Lord of the Rings the Romance Novel

Finally! I remember last night's dream. For a while there I was afraid that since I started this blog I wouldn't have any more dreams. But all is well in my world now ;) 


Well, how shall I begin to describe last night's dream...? It began with me, walking down a dirt road between rolling hills. The sky was dark with storm clouds vying for positions in the heavens. I held in my hands a romance novel, which my friend Star (she is a real friend of mine, not a construct of my subconscious) had given to me. On the cover was a powerful warrior on the back of an equally powerful steed. They were both ghostly pale, as if they were not from this mortal coil. I remember staring at the cover as I walked down the dirt road, pondering to myself what I should do with it. I couldn't read the novel. It was the second in a series and without reading the first I wouldn't be able to follow the plot line. Images of being in an old secondhand bookstore flashed before my eyes - static images of looking through shelves bursting with every kind of book imaginable, trying to find the first book in the series. 


The images stopped. I looked up from the book in my hands and was startled at the scene that lay before me. Along the opposite banks of a fast flowing river were encamped two opposing armies. The scene was far away at first, but suddenly rushed towards me, though I never moved - the sounds of weapons and soldiers growing louder. By the time I was surrounded by one of the armies I  knew that I was a princess. I held the one ring that the armies of Mordor were looking for, but few knew of my identity or the secret I carried. In the back of my mind I recognized that I had entered the book I held in my hand and darn it all if I had missed the whole first book! 


On the side of riverbank, on which we (the good guys) were camped, were two and three story brightly coloured buildings that looked as if they belonged along the high street of a small village that never quite left the nineteenth century. From the windows women and children waved to their husbands, sons, brothers and fathers on the front lines. I made my way through the throng of warriors; some crowded around fire pits eating and drinking in the pre-fight revelry of those who though victory assured; some silently sharpening weapons; and others hurrying from one place to another on their own missions. I was afraid that someone would recognize me and I would be forced to return to the house where I was supposed to be under lock and key for my "own protection". I had no intention of sitting out this fight. 


In a moment of distraction I ran headfirst into the man who not only knew exactly who I was, but apparently who I was madly in love with. He did not care for my sneaking escapade into the foray. We fought about my responsibility has a princess and guardian of the ring. I was acutely aware that if he wanted to throw me over his shoulder and march me back to my abode, he was perfectly capable of it and I would have very little choice in the matter. I was spared from such an indignity by an attack from Mordor's army. 


The sky suddenly burst into flame and white hot balls of smouldering ash rained down upon us from the other side of the river. Wherever the ash touched human flesh, painful blisters blossomed and slowly the victim began to turn to stone - radiating from the point of contact. My companion flung his cloak over me, protecting me from the onslaught. When the air cleared, he pulled away. Expecting to be hurried away immediately to a safer place, I was surprised to hear nothing from him. Looking from the sky to him I was filled with terror. He stood, starring at his hand - small white blisters bubbled up on the fingers of his right hand. I knew I had to keep the circulation flowing, so grabbing his hand I tried to massage the fingers, keeping the blood pumping. He was nearly crippled with pain, incapable of fighting or making any decisions. 


Within seconds I knew what I had to do. Earlier in the war effort a Mordor spy had been captured by our army. After several secret conversations with him, I had decided to help him escape. He was actually a good person and didn't deserve whatever was going to happen to him in our hands as a spy. He had returned to the army of Mordor. Standing there with the love of my life about to die, I knew that if I could get over the river and find this man, he would help us. Horses ran by us, fleeing in terror from the falling ash. One stallion stood his ground, powerful muscles tensed and head flung high in defiance. Stumbling over, half dragging my companion, I grabbed the reigns and hoisted (with no small effort) both of us onto the stallion's back. Hunched over as far as we could lean, I urged the stallion into a fierce gallop. Everything around us blurred, the bridge ahead of us the only clear spot in my vision. Vaguely I could hear shouts from the soldiers around us and once one of them tried to grab the reigns of the stallion to stop us, but he met with no success and was knocked into the mud.


On the other side of the bridge, we dismounted and waited to be surrounded by Mordor soldiers. Instead, the man who I had saved stood there with another soldier. They asked our names as they led us to a dark building covered in scaffolding. I told them my companion's name was Strider and I was called Faramir. The man I knew played along, keeping our secret. We entered the scaffolding covered building and I found myself in a familiar place - we were in the entrance area of Hart House at the University of Toronto. I begged the two men for a cure and it seemed as if they were about to give it to us. Even though I was scared for my companion, I was conscious of the fact that I was wearing the ring in Mordor (Two things should be explained here. 1 - I was wearing the ring on my finger. In this dream, the way to "activate" the ring was to twist it clockwise. 2 - the other side of the riverbank was not just where the army of Mordor was camped, it was also Mordor itself). 


We were left alone momentarily and my companion joked about losing one of his fingers. The antidote (which he had gotten somehow - I seemed to have missed that part in the dream) had worked, except that his middle finger was still hard as stone. I told him not to be ridiculous, it would all work out. I was the one who was meant to lose a finger since I was the one who wore the ring. Remembering once again that I was in Mordor with the ring, I tried to hide my hand in the sleeve of my jacket. Just in time. I looked up and there before us stood Sauron. Well, actually, Allan Rickman as Snape from Harry Potter stood before us. But he was Sauron....and very prancy. He danced around us and sang about how excited he was we had come to visit his humble abode. 


I wonder what would have happened next. Unfortunately the neighbours started in on some construction and I awoke to the sound of an electric sander. Curses! 

Cops and Piranhas

I remembered last night's dream this morning, but when I finally sat down tonight to write it, I found all memories of it had fled. Well, all but the distinct feeling that it had to do with a combination of the television shows The Vampire Diaries and The Walking Dead. I bet it was pretty interesting...


Anyway, one from the archives...


12 December 2011


Last night I was a detective. 


My partner and I stood over the body of a dead woman, splayed on the hardwood floor of her bungalow. The first suspect that came to mind was her deadbeat husband. He had been arrested several times for domestic violence, but the charges had never stuck. She kept taking him back, forgiving and forgetting.


The scene shifted and we were standing over the woman's corpse in the morgue. The Medical Examiner told us that she had a brother who had also been killed. Slowly turning around we saw her brother was on the autopsy table behind us. The ME bent over the body and pulled apart his stiff gums. There was a grey discolouration on them - by this he was able to determine that the brother had died first. This news shocked myself and my partner. We were going to have to rethink the entire crime! . 


The scene changed again and we were in an darkly lit interrogation room.  The dead woman's husband sat at the rickety silver table, denying as hard and as loud as he could any involvement in either death. My partner didn't believe him, but I something in my gut told me that, though this man was a scumbag and not worth crud on my shoe, this was not our guy.


A tech entered the room to show us a video he had found on youtube. Facial recognition software thad picked out the dead brother in a video called "The nerd in the video". It was black and white and set in a dorm room. The brother was the nerd, leaning back in a computer chair with a key board in his lap. Another man was in the background laughing, though he was mostly off camera. The husband of the dead woman told us that the man laughing just out of camera shot was the man we were looking for.


We left the police station and went to a giant high tech facility where we met the man from the video. He swore he knew nothing, but his arrogance made me believe otherwise. We took a young woman from the premises (perhaps his girlfriend? She was at least someone he loved, for he followed us to save her) and we went out into the sea (for the facility was on the shore of a large ocean) to get answers from her. My partner tried to drown her to get her to confess her part in the killings and rat out the guy from the video but she was crying and said she didn't know anything. We were all treading water and I was too far away to stop my partner. I swam as fast as I could to save the girl from him, but when I got to her, my partner had already let her go, disgusted by her refusal to give up the suspect. Grabbing her I tried to drag her to shore because I realized that a storm was coming fast and if we didn't get out of the water soon we would all drown. The closer we got to shore the greater the feeling became that we were about to be eaten by piranhas. 


That's when my alarm clock went off. 


I wonder what would have happened. Would we have made it to shore before the storm or the piranhas? Would the man from the video have confessed? Maybe he would have put us on a new lead. Or perhaps it simply would have been a dead end...

Buses, Mordor and a Water Park

I don't remember last night's dream, so here is another one from the archives...


12 March 2010


What I can remember from this dream comes in snippets. I was standing at the bus stop in St Andrews, Scotland. It was late at night and a soft snow was falling all around me. Looking up from the ground I saw my friend Abi tiptoe past me in her pyjamas (which was a pretty awesome thing because she's in a wheelchair). I remember thinking "Ha! I've had a dream about her walking three times, so this must be real! I'm not hallucinating!"


Suddenly Abi became the bus driver, but she kept missing the stops we were supposed to pick people up at. We were meant to go see the movie Cirque du Freak's Vampire Assistant, but I soon realized that with Abi's driving and the people she had angered at the bus stops by missing them, we were never going to get there. Presumably because it would take too long 'cause she was slow, and the angry mob would attack before we could get inside the theatre. 


Then all of a strange sudden, I was in Mordor. However, it was a water park. I was trying to get inside, though I'm not sure why. I think it had something to do with the one ring and to save a princess and/or Gollum. I figured out how to open a gate that was several stories above the ground. It was created as a water gate to allow for a waterfall. Somehow I restored its supports and was able to enter (I'm going to assume that the water was not flowing and that is how I was able to get in...but I could be wrong). Once inside I tried to navigate the halls (because apparently on the other side of the water gate hanging in mid air was the inside of a castle. Huh. Whoda thunk it?), but I was found by Orcs! Not just any Orcs though... cartoon Orcs. I ran back and tried to rewind or reverse what I had done before but it wouldn't work... so I jumped out the window. That will clearly fix my problems. 


On several occasions I slid down some water slides (or so says the notes I wrote about the dream). 


Food for thought: Middle Earth as an amusement park. I wonder what kind of rides they would have...

The Beginning...

This blog is meant, mostly, to entertain people with the craziness and utter randomness that are my dreams. Since I have a lot of them to catch up on, I will try to post one from my journal record of crazy dreams on days that I can't remember what I dreamt the night before. And since I can't remember last night's, I shall pick one from my repertoire to amuse myself and hopefully the reader...



Friday, 20 February 2012


Last night I dreamt that I was running. The world had come to a catastrophic end and the zombies were amassing. Not a good start to a dream, I know, but there you go. Everything was dark, with an almost blue-green tinge. The streets were covered in trash and mangled cars. Fires burned in trash cans and the sounds of sirens rang in the air. My two friends (Brandy and Shan) and myself ducked around burning wreckage and bloody, half-eaten corpses. Ahead of us, on a grassy hill was a blue bungalow. The sun shown behind it like a beacon and it looked like it was a part of a different world. The world behind us was dark, dirty and terrifying. The world in front of us was clean, bright and safe. Making a run up the hill, I called back to my companions telling them that an old woman lived in this house and we would find protection here. 


Boy was I wrong...


From the ground there arose a tennis ball net. I immediately knew that we had been lead into a trap! I turned around and tried to run back to Brandy and Shan, but we were cut off from each other as tall fences rose around me, topped with electric wires to prevent any escape. The Old Woman appeared on the other side of the net from me and said that if I wanted to escape then I would have to beat her in a game of volleyball (Yes. We were about to play volleyball on a tennis ball court). We began to play, but she was cheating! I can't remember how she was cheating, I just know she was. I realized that my friend Stephanie and another girl from my class (though I can't remember who she is at this current juncture) were with the Old Woman and she had turned them into robots to obey her every whim! From the corner of my eye I saw that near the back of the court, the fence was pulling apart - but there wasn't enough room for me to fit through. With much effort I finally hit the ball far enough away that the Old Woman had to run for it. I took that opportunity to whisper to Brandy and Shan (on the other side of the fence). I instructed them to find weak points in the fence to make enough room for my escape. Even though I thought I had been very sneaky, the Old Woman knew what I was up to. I sat on the ground and cried about how it wasn't fair that she was cheating. When she turned away I ran for the hole in the fence Brandy and Shan had widened. 


Once out I found myself, no longer on the soft green grass of the Old Woman's front law, but on the hard brown surface of a desert. I crawled backwards through scraggly brush and short cacti, nearly falling over a small cliff. Stephanie chased me down and brought me back to the Old Woman's house. Brandy, Shan and I stood on the fire escape (because now the bungalow was no longer a bungalow, but a two story house), looking through a door to the inside where Stephanie stood with the Old Woman. I pleaded with Stephanie to let us go. Not knowing what to do I asked her if she loved the Old Woman. Stephanie nodded and said that she loved her more than anything because she had saved her (Stephanie's) life. I told her that the Yeerks (yes, the alien slugs from the Animorphs books) had taken over my brother and sister and they didn't remember me anymore. How would she feel if the Old Woman no longer knew her? Stephanie began to cry and decided she would let me go so I could free my family. But as she went to show us the way to freedom, she remembered she needed to do her Silver Condition Reporting (a homework assignment we had in class - that was due last week I might add). She ran away from me crying about not finishing in time and letting everyone down. 


And that's all I remember from that dream...