Friendship

You know what I like about friends? And I don't mean those people you kind of know and when someone asks you who you were just talking to you, you shrug and say in a non committal way: "They're just a friend." I mean the kind of friends who if you're dumped spend the weekend making voodoo dolls of your ex with you; the kind of friends who spend the night with you because you saw a scary movie and now you're afraid of the dark; friends who if you were kidnapped would form a posse, complete with their own theme music, and take on every bad guy in the world to save you. You know what I like about those kinds of friends?

They are awesome.

The dictionary defines the word awesome as a word describing something that inspires awe. Which in turn means "an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is so grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like." Well that describes my friends to a T.

Sometimes, like today, I sit and think about everything that is wrong in my life: I'm too fat, I'm too loud, I have no follow through, my family is certifiable, my computer keeps breaking down - and then as if they can sense my spiralling emotions I seem to receive a mental slap upside the head followed by the unamused voices of my friends, demanding to know what the hell my problem is. Yeah, things suck sometimes but I live in a beautiful house, there is always food on the table or in the fridge (even if I don't like it - mushrooms = yuck!), I've been fortunate enough to study what I want in university and pursue my career goals, and yes, my family may have their issues and probably need a visit from Dr. Phil, but we love each other and take care of each other.

I remind the voices in my head that I am human and deserve to bitch and moan from time to time - after all, venting is very cathartic. But the great thing about my friends, whether I'm with them physically or their voices are just in my mind, is that they will have none of my nonsense. They will stalk stand-up comedians in Montreal and Glasgow or actors in Portland and Vancouver with me, they will take ridiculous photo shoots outside Medieval Times and have "Murder, She Wrote" weekend marathons with me, but they will not stand for my nonsense.

I must have been born under a lucky star to have these amazing friends. If I never amount to anything in this world, I wont care (well, I wont care too much) because I know that in the eyes of my friends I am fantastic and they in return are awe inspiring in mine.

I love you guys with all my heart!

XXXOOO

Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins

Best Date Ever

The first thing you need to know about the Southern California Renaissance Pleasure Faire if you've never been, is that it is one of the only places/times (other than Halloween) where you can generally slut it up and you aren't judged. In fact your short skirts, bare midriffs and bulging breasts are extolled and worshiped. Men also join in the semi-clothed fun - they bare their chests and sport shorter than average kilts.

The other great thing about the Ren Faire is that it is a place where curvy girls get to be princesses, buxom wenches and bonnie barbarians.

The event comes around once a year every Saturday and Sunday from about mid-April to mid-May and I had already been once on the 5th of May, but I was asked out by guy and we decided to go on a group date to the Ren Faire. So I brought two of my best friends in the whole world, Gary and Becky and was ready to meet Andrew and have a great time.

Well to make a long story short he never showed and I haven't heard from him - clearly he is not a keeper. But rather than let that get me down I did all the things you can't do on a first date.

Firstly Becky and I shared a massive box of fresh cut cheesy curly fries in a most unladylike manner. 

Secondly, we flirted with Barbarians

Thirdly we succumbed to the charms of the Palace Guards

And were rewarded with a rose at the end of our courtship. 

Lastly, we feasted!!

Now to the serious part of the blog. It's hard not to feel down on yourself when you're stood up for a date. You start asking questions like "Why doesn't he want to go out with me?" "Was it something I said?" and you start questioning your looks and personality. It is just a downward spiral of sadness and self-deprication. Luckily I had two amazing friends who kept me busy and entertained so I really didn't have any time to think about these things. 

But inevitably you have to leave your friends and go home, and it is there while you lie in bed that those thoughts come pushing their way in. But the more I thought about it, the more I think that I'm actually glad he didn't show up. If this is any indication of his personality then he is clearly not someone I want to invest any time or effort into. Plus from our limited conversations, I think he might have been a bit of a racist and I'm not playing that game. 

So now I'm back at square one in the dating game. But I wont let it get me down - it's not so bad at square one. I'm armed with experience, a fierce determination and a list of deal breakers a mile long (I should probably work on those - but that is a blog for another time!)